12.03.2010 - 17.03.2010
i wasn't supposed to stay more than a couple of days. visit some friends, get some rest, hit the road again, return home, start over. live in my mother's basement, try to make sense of it all, try not to be a burden. reset.
i was going to go back to school in the fall, perhaps pursue a PhD, branch out and study linguistic anthropology. this was just a detour, it was never part of the plan. so why do i feel i belong here? why can't i bring myself to leave?
'i want you to come back home and i want you to grow your hair back' keeps ringing in my ears. this is the first argument that we've had in years. she's always supported me, emotionally, financially. i need to break free. i need to learn how to fall, all on my own. if i can't pick myself back up by now, how will i ever learn?
i love you, Mom. more than you can ever know.
but home's not home anymore.